to me I can barely handle it. It feels like I haven’t attended classes in a month and a half because my mind has revolved around you rather than my studies. Right now, as I sit here past midnight with a paper to write and a test to study for, I’ve realized that while you’re worth missing, I don’t want you to be my excuse. I want to be a success and still miss you. Initially I think I wanted you to see that I was struggling, as if I needed physical evidence for it. Initially, I wanted to slack off and wallow in you and us. The truth is, that you’re worth being missed by a successful girl. A girl who loves but isn’t consumed. A girl who has a grip on herself, or at least who is trying to maintain the grip and not letting go.
I fucked myself over. I miss you mad bad.